Whatever James In Stitches

Anakin/Vader Sampler...And Han Stitched First

2011-06-26T13:06:00.000-07:00

So...I did an interview for the incredible MrXStitch site and you can check it out here. First off, thanks to them for having me and thanks to everyone who have had such positive and kind words since. I promise it makes me sound waaaay cooler then I really am.

One of the photos used I have not actually posted here because it's such a weird subject to me but as a wise man once said "Start at the beginning...and when you get to the end, stop". The piece I did is a sampler. The quote is from Star Wars Episode I. We have only seen Anakin Skywalker for a couple of minutes at this point and when asked if he was a slave he got visibly angry and I thought that what he said, coupled with the Vader helmet would look really cool together. As a fan, I think that this quote carries through the entire saga as to how Vader may have felt his entire time as a cyborg and his ultimate return to the light side.

That's the story on the piece itself. Here is the chaos the piece has wrought: I am a Star Wars nerd through and through. I had an extensive (read: two rooms) collection of action figures, every novel, tons of strange collectibles, two tattoos and even named one of my daughters after an expanded universe character! As a rule I usually do NOT dress up as a Star Wars character for Halloween because it seems to obvious. Soon after I started stitching I decided not to do any Star Wars pieces for the same reason. Then I stitched Luke.

He was supposed to be a warm up to an actual portrait of a real person that I wanted to do. I have kids now so all my toys have been opened, my books are in storage. I have not read a book in far too long, and my daughter talks and talks through the Clone Wars cartoons. Stitching Star Wars felt good to me. I obviously love stitching and would say I am obsessed with it on a Star Warsian level. To finally bring the two together was amazing. It was the perfect combination of something I have always loved and something I love now.

Afraid that it was just a fluke I designed the Vader sampler and stitched it up. I knew what I had to do. At first "Han Stitched First" was going to be a series of Star Wars based stitching that I did here. One a month for the next year. I started looking for stitches that other people had done so I didn't do the same things and I found out just how much awesome Star Wars stitching had been done. I wanted to show people. I wanted to tell people about it. I thought we should be showing each other and sharing ideas.

With such great sites like Sprite Stitch dedicated to video game crafts, and the release of Bonnie Burton's Star Wars Craft Book, surely there was at least one stitching blog dedicated to Star Wars. Turns out there was not. Well, now there is. Han Stitched First is my blog dedicated only to Star Wars needlework! And not just mine. There are so many great pieces I have found that I have not even posted my work there (yet)! I really hope that it will become a neat little site where people can find Star Wars patterns, ideas and friends with the same interest.

And yes, I know that not everyone is as excited about stitching Star Wars-inspired pieces as me. That's okay. I'm excited enough for all of us. I'll still be up to my old (Jedi mind) tricks here, too.

On My (Sessler's) Soapbox

2011-05-17T10:28:00.000-07:00

I did this piece back in 2009. I may have posted it before but I'm not looking through old posts and chances are good I was probably drunk anyway.

Aside from stitching and going "way back" to the original NES, I am a video game fanatic. Yes, stitching, being a father and trying to be a grown up have slowed down my advances but I do try to get a good shooter or old-school reissue (Dreamcast Collection for 360, anyone)? So back when I watched a lot of G4TV I had an itunes subscription to "Sessler's Soapbox". A place for one of my favorite journalists/TV Personalities to say whatever he wanted. How could I not love that? I mean, what do you think this blog is?!?

So in 2009 X-Play/Adam Sessler gave a 5-out-of-5 review to some game I still have not played. Naturally he was attacked by the idiots who often spend a lot of their time bitching about game reviews and for once The Reviewer Struck Back! He called several posters out by name, read the dribble they left online and then asked if they fucked their mothers! The comments by the posters were not only a disagreement of the review but an attack on the reviewer's journalistic integrity. He closed the podcast with this advice for those who he called out and their ilk:

I know it's not my most detailed work but A) this is wordy as fuck! B) I didn't really know how to decorate it so I went with little cross stitches in the orange and blue of the show. X-stitches for X-Play...do you see what I've become?

I've always thought, especially when your job is to give people your opinion, this would be awesome on an office wall. I finally got the balls to show it off to Mr. Sessler in the only way I could think to: Twitter. He responded in kind. He called the piece awesome and me The Cross Stitching Man (I'll take it). He also was receptive to my sending it to him! So it goes out today and I really hope I get a picture of him with it (yes, I asked). But honestly, the ~~attention~~ joy of the experience has been awesome. I truly thank Mr. Sessler for being awesome, open and The Man to his fans!

I've Taken My First Step Into A Much Larger World

2011-05-04T13:20:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes. I have been waiting until today to post this. For those that don't know (read: may have a life) today is 5/04/11, or May Fourth, as in May The Fourth...Be With You! You can't unread that! And if you think it's just me, it's not! Today is the traditionally recognized Star Wars day!

A little background on yours truly: Born in 1980 (The year the Empire struck back), I can't remember the first time I saw a Star Wars movie. My grandparents had V and VI on VHS and I watched them all the time. I saw the special editions when they were re-released to fund the prequels and by the time Episode I came out I was old enough (19 and legal, baby) to stand in line for all day and night for the midnight premier! Today I have two Star Wars tattoos, a collection of every novel and most of the books, my oldest daughter is named after an expanded universe character and the only reason I don't have the two-rooms of action figures is because I sold them for an engagement ring!

Oh, and like Ben hiding on Tatooine, I decided long ago I was probably never going to cross stitch anything Star Wars. I don't dress up as Star Wars characters for halloween either. It always just seems kinda...obvious. Well, no more!

I really love cross stitched portraits and I actually want to do one of a friend but I thought I should start "simple":

I loved the way it played on the Shepard Fairey/Barack Obama poster, and in fact, it actually had the words "A New Hope" at the bottom. After waiting so long for to finally do a Star Wars piece, and LOVING the way it came out, I decided not to add them. I really wanted to keep it closer to a portrait and further from a political joke (which I am usually all about)!

Not to get poetic but doing this piece has changed my life...or at least a big portion of it. I am doing more Star Wars pieces (Vader sampler up in a few days!) and I have found an AMAZING amount of Star Wars stitching by other people that I feel compelled to share with the rest of the world.

How? Well, even though it is Star Wars day, it's also Star Wars month. With every episode of the film saga releasing in May, I hope to add a new episode to the stitching community very soon. In the meantime, if you or someone you know stitch Star Wars or Star Wars-inspired pieces (or just a piece) feel free to add it to the Han Stitched First group at flickr! This should give you an idea of where the month, and the future (no matter how long, long ago) is headed!

Bored As Heaven

2011-04-30T19:34:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm not bored at all but I have wanted to do this piece for a while! I have a little book where I draw some of my ideas for future stitch projects and every once in a while one project will just get stuck in my head. During the time I was working on my Luke Skywalker project that is exactly what happened.

I knew I would have to give in and do it but I really didn't want to take that much time away from Luke. I had recently found a couple articles online about using half stitches in place of full cross stitches in an attempt to finish projects faster. Some use different thickness threads, some use three strands of standard thread instead of two, but of the projects I had seen they all seemed very well done. The process itself reminded me kind of starting stitching with needlepoint. I had to change the stitch direction on the right horn to make it look right. It's not my favorite thing I've ever done but at least it's done. I do like the idea of using half stitches for a project but I think it may work better on full pictures and not so much outlines or letters.

I know things have been slow but rest assured I have been working (stitching). There are a couple more posts written and ready so expect those soon. And there is a new site in the works (separate from WJ:IS) and there's more on that coming soon too!

Because I Need A Little Hope

2011-03-07T12:23:00.000-08:00

Windy is still in the hospital and the doctors have started throwing out the prognosis' no one really wants to hear.

After finishing Hell and realizing I did not have the tools, nor the funds for the tools, to move on the the next project I anticipated doing I went back to the .img (that's image file for those not nerdy enough). I knew my next project was going to be closer to 25 colors and images of people, castles, aliens and cars. I also am REALLY digging the idea of stitching a portrait of a buddy of mine. I saw a pic of min a while back and the idea has been in my head for a while.

So some common ground was needed. I found an .img in my .img which was more portrait-ish then anything I have previously done. At 10,000+ stitches in 13 colors it seemed like it might be right up my style . So on 2/15/11 I started "A New Hope" and this is where I am at now:

The detail in the eye area is killing me with single stitches of a single color. But I am bring a good boy and following direction...for now.

The other markings are pencil. Because there is so much blocking in the same color I have found it helps me breaze through if I just mark it off. Then all I need is the project, thread and needle. No space for color charts and lists or what-have-you. So the face is generally at home and the rest is while out...or home and tired of looking at the details. Here's an earlier pick of just the four main colors.

I Got 99 Problems But A Stitch Ain't One!

2011-03-05T11:55:00.000-08:00

I died a little inside with that one, and let's face it, I probably deserve it.

Sorry folks but with the usual issues of bills, rent, kids, job interviews and sadly Windy remains in the hospital, there has not been a lot of stitch time...let alone a lot of blog time. But I have been stitching and as I sit here on a Saturday morning, I am trying to get a little blogging done. So let's get it on:

After finishing "Hell" I really was at a loss as to what to do next. Yes, there are a couple more pieces planned for the punks not dead series but those require new colors and new cloth and new equals money. Unless you mean "new to you" but I don't think that really works in cross stitch. Exception.

So I started with going back to a piece I had lying around: Bender! I always wanted to put something around him...like a background. I borrowed a book from the library and found a darning pattern and ran with it. I always imagined it with a dark-ish green. I have no idea why but I did.

There is so much I would do on that piece if I did it again. Oh well. I still love it.

Speaking of love, Valentine's Day also came and went. As usual it came with a cross stitched love note to my dearest Windy. I have wanted to use the heart pattern a lot and I love this song by the Groovie Ghoulies.

I am working on a new project since February 15th and it is coming a little slower then I would have liked but so is everything else. I hope to start showing it off soon.

Finishing a Finished Piece, or Punk Is "Framed"

2011-01-31T18:35:00.001-08:00

So the "Hell" piece, along with The Joker, are going to London for the Stitch and Craft Show! Nice, right? Well that led to some questions about how I plan to finish it. When last we posted, "Hell" was done, but not finished.

It's still not. But only because I am being completely anal about it and just have not finished the finishing! But I did finish the finishing on the previously finished "Punks Not Dead" piece.

I plan on all the pieces in the series, at least initially, to be finished with a duct tape "frame". For this piece it is red. For "Hell" I just got back from the store and got black duct tape. But why? For "Hell" alone I have some great ideas on a frame from making one out of chain-link fence to Windy's brilliant idea of spray-painting a fence onto a traditional frame.

It's all about the time and place these pieces represent. Before I found the amazing Julie Jackson and her life-changing book, I was a broken and beaten shell of a man. Completely destroyed and physically handicapped from a failed relationship, I was broke, unemployed and sleeping on my nephew's floor in my sister's house. I was a alcohol, drug and depression-ridden mess. The more things change the more they stay the same, right? Of course, I am far from depressed these days.

Anyway, these were the days I was so broke I would recycle cans to pay for thread. I would pay for the thread to hide the fact I was stealing aida cloth to work on. Or hoops. Or whatever else I needed that cost more then thirty-five cents. It is important for me to say that I am in no way glorifying my actions, nor am I in any way trying to justify them. It's simply a statement of fact of where I was at that time. Please do not steal from your local craft store...unless you absolutely have to. And don't do drugs...unless they're good.

These pieces are supposed to remind me of those times. Of making things I thought only I would get and hanging them up with duct tape because I didn't know what else to do with them. I will most likely get the mounting boards for them and I hope to add chains or chains of safety pins for the hanging hardware. I really think that this throwback to my roots truly represents what I wanted to catch with these pieces. Of course if you think it is just lazy posturing: FUCK YOU!.

See, punk's not dead at all!!!

How Could Hell Be Any Worse?

2011-01-24T07:36:00.001-08:00

So after almost two weeks, my computer is finally over it's virus (I spent most of last night knocking on the fire starters at the grocery store - it's the best I could do). If you were wondering why the 12 Days ended half-way through, well, there you go. But I did finish!! In fact, I am happy to share that this piece will be flying to London for an exhibit at the Stitch and Craft show.

Started 8/2009 and completed 1/2011
13.5 inches square
Almost 13,000 stitches!

I was in a pretty bad spot when I started this. We had just lost Logan, I had just started the worst job I have ever had and I just wanted to take my mind off it. Plus I really felt the album title. I thought since Bad Religion was turning 30 in 2010, and so did I, this would be a great way to pay tribute and face the hard changes I was going through. So long later and things are better. Better is relative, but better then they were then. Here is a side-by-side with the other big punk piece I have done so far. The CD is just for scale.

The thing I learned most is that I don't want to stitch backgrounds. I think that's why my Obi-Wan project fell through and I have an idea to ride that walrus again. But that's another post.

I have always liked how stitches stand out against the fabric. It's not just a picture, you can feel it. I think by leaving out the red on this piece I can run my hands over it and feel the buildings, the windows...the whole scene. I lived in LA and I loved it. I can picture the actual skyline when I run my hands over the thread and in someways it takes me back.

There are other covers that I have planned and I have worked a major part of each piece to be blank. It's usually the largest solid color. One idea is the Groovie Ghoulies' World Contact Day. I would do that on light blue fabric so the sky does not need to be stitched. This creates a small contrast and gives the piece a true foreground/background. That's my thing, I guess.

Actually my thing right now is pancakes and screwdrivers. Which is why I am gonna have to wait to tell you about my new project. But let's just say I want to make my next project come off the fabric...!!!

Technical Difficulties...

2011-01-20T09:12:00.000-08:00

Yes, "Hell" is done. I have become completely obsessed with a new project which has required a LOT of research and it is not easy to find. I'm sure it would be but I am still working in Safe Mode due to a virus that somehow will not kick rocks.

In the meantime go stitch. I will post a link to something or other that is cool in the meantime. I'd hate for you to think I forgot about you!

Check out this interview with Giggly Mama over at suchcoolstuff.

12 Days of Hell: Day Five: How Could Hell Be Any Work?

2010-12-28T01:53:00.001-08:00

Wholly S-H-I-T! It was a busy day. I got almost no sleep and stitched the entire time I was not soothing a congested toddler who can't sleep.

The best news is that I finished page 9 of 9! The bad news is I was reading ahead. I still have a few more pages to do. I think that when I finished the usual column I was working on on page 9 the remainder of it looked like it could go by pretty fast and it did. 13 hours fast.

I think this is where things are going to start getting interesting! Actually things may have already reached maximum interest. This is where things will continue to be mediocre!

12 Days of Hell: Day Four

2010-12-27T09:04:00.001-08:00

After blocking out that little section I would say I have made some pretty good headway!

I have been listening to the album this morning (as well as the latest, Dissent of Man) and I am pumped to stitch today.

I have also come up with an idea for a smaller version of this for folks who may not want to spend all year stitching it. Of course I will have to stitch it again to show you so you still may not see it for another year anyway (I keep ALL the good shit behind the counter)!

I would love to sit and keep telling you about it but this thing is not going to stitch itself. I tried. I left it in a drawer for, like, three months and I think it actually took a block of stitches out as it counted the days! It also shanked my pincushion.

12 Days of Hell: Day Three

2010-12-26T00:05:00.001-08:00

...and we're back. Yes, I know it's Sunday but I already lost two days this week (it's not like it was MY birthday).

So with the holiday schedule there has not been a lot of time to stitch but I wanted to start getting a sense that I am getting closer to the end then I am currently feeling. Instead of the usual 10x10 grid I usually work in, the first section is 16 stitches across. This is just because of where the chart ended on the page.

With the little time I have had I went ahead and did the shorter 4-stitch-across section from the next page (completing the 10 started by the 6 stitches on the last page). I also took it all the way down to the project bottom (yet another new page) and I think I will complete the entire boxed portion before going back and doing the bottom to the previous pages!

Anyway I gotta get going. I have a tea party to be at!

12 Days of Hell: Day Two

2010-12-23T08:24:00.001-08:00

12 Days: Day Two
Originally uploaded by whateverjames

I posted on the Facebook Fan Page that it has been crazy busy and that I probably would not have a whole lot done for today's entry. As you can see: I keep my promises, bitches!

The good news is that I am stitching while loading pics and typing this out. It's a little thing called multi-tasking and as you can see i am greet at i t@@@

Ok, ok. No more one-hand typing. At least I didn't screw up my stitching...awww, shit. See you tomorrow.

12 Days of Hell: Day One

2010-12-22T10:10:00.001-08:00

12 Days: Day One
Originally uploaded by whateverjames

Well after one day of stitching here is where I am at! I have been listening to a lot of the album the last 24 hours. I know that may be a little silly but I needed the inspiration to start this push.

I am coming up on a very dense section. Not really since the band's name have I done so much black in one area with little or no breakage. Sigh. Now we will find out if working down in 10-stitch rows will pay off...

12 Days of Hell: Day Zero, The Begining of The End

2010-12-21T09:00:00.001-08:00

12 Days of Hell: Day Zero
Originally uploaded by whateverjames

Ok, I am crazy obsessed with finishing this piece by the end of the year. I have been working on it the better part of forever and I wanted to finish it this year as it is the 30th Anniversary of Bad Religion. I already missed any possibility of taking it to one of the shows in or around California in the hopes of getting it signed but what's a guy to do?

But as I said, I am obsessing. Between Xmas, relatives, health, employment, etc it has been really hard the last week or so. That is why I am making a big push to finish this piece. So every day for the next 12 days I will be posting updates. This first picture is actually where I am starting this 12-Day business at in the project. Aside from the obvious section on the right, there is 25 more rows to go down across the whole thing (I'm making this look hard, right)?

I know the math is a little off but I don't actually know if I will finish before the end of the year...I just really hope I can, at the very least, get really close and have a lot of fun over the next 12 days. Stay tuned...or at least stay tuna.

But Can You Stitch To It?: Jonathan Coulton - Live in 2006

2010-12-06T08:52:00.000-08:00

Due to a mixture of ~~Red Bull and Vodka, I'm here~~ growing up in a musical home and being a fan of Punk music I have always had a preference for live albums. I know they are not as great as going out to see a live band but unless you are offering to babysit and convince Windy that it would be better then dinner and a movie, shut your face! There have been a lot of great ones released by the record companies such as 7 Seconds and most of the Live In A Dive series. But my favorites are the bootlegs. No longer purchased from someone's trunk, there are a surprising number of good quality recordings available for free and some are even, at least sorta, semi-legal (my attorneys remind me to remind you to research the laws for music download and file sharing in your area...then disregard them Boo-Ya)!

I love a good singer-songwriter, too. Clever, simple songs are my favorite. And if they include zombies, robots, monkeys and even ninjas when things get personal, well all the better. So I don't know if this is some kind of time travel back to the Temple Bar in Santa Monica, 2006 or an incredible artifact from a simpler time. Either way, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage Jonathan Colton!

I found a series of videos on YouTube of this performance and as I was getting ready to start ripping the audio it dawned on me that someone else probably already has and not surprisingly, I was right! The video was originally by Gle3nn and mp3 versions worked by spiffworld. The video and the audio are both very good and the set list is like a Greatest Hits record. Yeah, the kind that still somehow misses your favorite song you knew was gonna be there.

1. The Future Soon
2. Skullcrusher Mountain
3. First of May
4. Shop Vac
5. I Feel Fantastic
6. Baby Got Back
7. Creepy Doll
8. Big Bad World One
9. I Crush Everything
10. Code Monkey
11. You Ruined Everything
12. Tom Cruise Crazy
13. Re: Your Brains

It's a pretty awesome set with just enough banter and just the right pace. I have been stitching to it almost religiously since I got it and I have to say it really is a great listen. There are a couple other complete shows of JoCo available but this one is just the right length. Just like me. You didn't think I would just let that go, did you?

My personal favorites are "Big Bad World One" which has inspired a new sampler and "You Ruined Everything". Despite what the guy in the crowd would have you believe, it's a touching song NOT about ninjas. I honestly pictured Kadie and I dancing at her wedding to this song. If she grows up "getting" me enough that we would actually dance to Jonathan Coulton at her wedding, I can assure you, I will die a happy man. Now go download it and stitch something awesome before it's too late. After all, it's gonna be the future soon.

Drugs Are Good: Vicodin

2010-11-23T05:41:00.000-08:00

So back in January I turned 30 and while I was pretty proud that I didn't have some kind of meltdown, I realized that it was about time for me to put up or shut up. All year it's been a bit of a struggle to find out what that actually meant, though. A couple jobs, half a year of being unemployed and so many internal struggles later, I realize I have got some serious problems. One of which is that I like drugs. Not all drugs, I can't put anything in my nose or mess with needles. Ha ha. I cross stitch but I'm still afraid of needles. I'm a bigger sissy then those kids at the playground thought said I was last night.

In all honesty (ok, in kinda honesty) I have been thinking of doing a set of motivational poster-type samplers where I put one of my favorite drug names in bigger letters and something describing it underneath. What do I mean? You can't visualize it? Visualize this:

I thought it was funny that I use song lyrics and titles as my blog posts or inspiration a lot, but it wasn't until all around good person doaflip mentioned over on flickr that "The Kids Are Alright" is, in fact, the name of a very good song by The Offspring. I knew I was familiar with the term already, it's just not where I was going with it in my head...it just worked out that way.

I am giving some thought to doing a second "Valium" piece, the new one redesigned to fit into the plans I have for this series, but for now I hope to post a new piece every week or so. What are you so excited about, only the first one is free...

Furlough Friday: daisymae_cs

2010-11-19T16:41:00.000-08:00

I know posting a picture of a recently completed or work-in-progress is not mandatory (I skipped my senior year at blogging school so what do I know). I also know you don’t come here for the instant coffee and penny candies I leave out. So rather then post another picture of “Hell” or busting my hump on yet another sampler or small piece, I thought, being in California, I would take a furlough (see how I did that) from stitching and tell you about someone else’s work. Without further adieu (about something), let me introduce daisymae_cs:

A few weeks back Windy and I were discussing my work and lack of work at the time. I mentioned that I am designing a new piece where I can hopefully take more traditional “art”, such as a painting, and adapt it for cross stitch. The idea I have is a little more than taking a cool painting and running it through a chart generator so it is going to be awhile before I can tell you if it is going to work. As for the “Art vs. Craft” argument/discussion/"aggressive negotiation", I am skipping that for now. Not because I don’t care but because if it’s all art then we have to worry about artistic integrity. Not having any other kind to begin with, I don’t want to burden myself.

Probably a few nights after the art/craft discussion with Windy, I found this post on craftster. Regardless of where you sit on the subject you have to admit: These rock more ass then a gaggle of male porn stars!

What really got me is that even in the pieces I am designing, I am being pretty lazy: minimizing colors and making changes to cut down on my work. Not only does daisymae_cs bring it, she does it in multiple shades and she said there is even some variegated thread use on some of them(whaaaaat)!?!

So who is daisymae_cs? Well, she is keeping things classy over at flickr. So go check out some more of her work then send her a message telling her what a colorful badass she is! Although I am not quite high enough on the blog-o-meter to be conducting interviews, here is some of what she shared with me:

I think that some people might think they're really "traditional" and simplistic, which in a way they are, but that's not what I'm trying to do. I totally feel the same way about stitching as art. I'm really getting a lot of inspiration lately seeing what some people in the cross-stitch & embroidery groups on Flickr are doing. There's some terrific original work there.

I have spent some time over at her photostream and it's all pretty impressive. Honestly, it has been very inspirational as well. I was hoping she had a store I could throw a link up to but that's not happening. Which means none of you can buy me one of these for christmas. I was good all year, too!!!

Int. Day. Whatever James sits sobbing at his computer. Pushes “publish post” button.

Fade Out.

How Could A Little Inspiration Be Any Worse?

2010-11-17T17:30:00.000-08:00

Oh christ, he's doing that again.

I mentioned in my last post some of the more personal stuff I have been dealing with lately and I have to admit I was feeling a bit disconnected from stitching as a whole. Partly as a joke, and partly trying to find, well, anything, I posted a request to the Facebook Fan Page. I just wanted to see what anyone else is working on and I don't know anyone local, I don't communicate with many people directly by email, so that left Facebook. Since I was not working on anything at the time it seemed like I could live through somebody's hard work, just not mine.

While the rest of you were busy counting stitches there was one response from facebook like-er(?) Carrie. She showed off her current piece which she is working on as a gift. But she said I could post a picture of it. Soooo...whoever is getting this likes Lady GaGa but doesn't read this blog? Really, Carrie, who are you associating with? Honestly though, I looked it up online and your piece is looking bad-ass! So everyone who likes Lady GaGa, has a friend named Carrie and is hoping this is for you, close your eyes.

Now, everything I know about Lady GaGa comes from the above picture and the songs my five-year-old sings me. But it seems to be exactly what I needed because I have since resumed work on my album cover project I started so long ago and kind of fell to the wayside.

So what was it? Someone working on something that reminded me of my work in progress? The neat blog/free charts/free char generator she turned me onto? Her overwhelming awesome? Probably a little of everything. What matters is the skyline is almost done and I can move down!

Now anyone who has been reading this blog since Monday when they got in line for the new Harry Potter flick can tell you I have been hitting the samplers pretty hard. And there is more to come! In the meantime go over to the Facebook Fan Page and talk or post pics of your big project, finished or in progress. As far as what I mean when I say big is ~~I am hung like a tuna can~~ whatever is big to you. Time, stitch count or final size (it matters, they're telling me). I'll be here all week, folks.

I'm Going To Hell For This One!

2010-11-15T05:18:00.000-08:00

It’s been a long couple of months. I lost a really great job for a really lame reason and I got really depressed. I’m working again (temp style), a major pay cut, and not really cutting it all the way around. I tried to rally around some great stuff: the contest here, the facebook fan page, etc. but overall I kind of found some disconnect from stitching for almost two months. I missed three podcasts, tons of amazing projects by other folks and a lot of down time on my own every night.

What happened? I’ll get into that in another post. What matters is that I decided to revisit an unfinished project, plus realize flaws and all, I am who I am. Sometimes I wish I weren’t. So where do I start? At the top. According to a predominant religion up is where the home is. So in sampler form, here is my take on the title of one of the songs from the most recent NOFX album:

I am still slightly debating more kissing same-sex fish but I think this is pretty much done. I thought the upside down crosses would be a bit much in all four corners and thought that it came off a bit more…playful that they were up and down. This was kind of fun to do as a public piece over about two and a half hours at the coffee house nearest the largest church in our city. This was the first time no one talked to me about stitching. Co-inkie-dink?

Moving on. I’m having a lot of fun. Getting a lot of stitches done and can’t wait to share more with you. Also I have met some really awesome people and I want to tell you about them. But that’s later. Until then…

I've Got My Mind On My Stitching and My Stitching On My Mind

2010-10-31T03:37:00.000-07:00

Like that itchy little rash that you swear is just a cold sore, I'm back!

Usually when there is a long break between posts I have been stitching like crazy but could not find the time to post. Well, lately I have all the time in the world but I have been so unable to focus on anything long enough to allow me to put my mind on my stitching that I really have not been working on anything until about a week ago.

The story so far: I started the month by losing my job for the (verbatim) following reason: "...the stars just didn't seem to align". My unemployment department has suddenly become concerned with the math skills of those writing benefit checks and has halted my claim until corrected to their satisfaction. Finally my half-decade long fight with chronic back-pain took a turn that was positive in that it meant an immediate upswing in attempting to find a definitive diagnosis. The downside is a definitive diagnosis scares the shit out of me.

Maybe it's all that crap and more going on. Perhaps it's "just" the day-long Dora the Explorer marathons that my darling two-year-old is demanding. But about a week ago I started a new project and I finished it last night:

The cloth is a light blue 14-count aida. The thread is my default red; D.M.C. Bright Red (#666). I entertained the idea of a simple border in white, and by that I mean I ended up ripping out thirty or so stitches. In the end I realized that sometimes it's okay to want to say/stitch something as direct as possible. So this is my no-frills statement. My father raised me to know that honesty gets you everywhere in this life.

I have used the font before. I like it and I like some of the symbols that are charted (hearts and broken hearts, son)! I am trying to make a few tweaks to it but I think it will actually get it's own post soon and I can strut it around here like the sexy piece of trophy-font it is! As for the words, it's a sentiment I have used "jokingly" in the past. It's also the title of a NOFX album released in 2000. It's currently hanging in the living room, still in the hoop, awaiting a bad-ass frame.

Each letter in this font takes me about half an hour to do and I probably could have finished it a couple days sooner. However, I was in the emergency room Monday night and with all the pain meds and other stuff they were pumping into me, it was probably best not to let the doc see what this said. For the comments: Have you ever had to stop or hide your stitching because of where you were or who was around? For example: your stitching the words "This craft is not a bomb" and you realize everyone in the airport is staring at you. Let's hear about it. You can also post your story at the Facebook Fan Page...yeah, I went ahead and did that. So come lick me if you have not already. What? Oh, yeah. Come like me at the Facebook Fan Page. Or lick me.

Only God Can Judge Me - The Results Show!

2010-09-21T19:20:00.000-07:00

First off, my apologies to everyone who entered and everyone who has been waiting to find out what happened. A little "real life" got in the way and, well, we know how that goes (Northwest?). So before something else stops working, the kids start whining about wanting to eat for a second time today or I get carted off to the hospital we better start talking results. By the by, I was just kidding - I only get an ambulance to the hospital when I am at work.

In full disclosure I put all the pictures I received in a slideshow and my two-year-old Kadie picked one at random...or whatever random is to a two-year-old. A big congratulations to our winner, Quilterina! I think the spools of thread spelling words is pretty neat, but what do I know. Here's what she says about it:

"those spools spell peace grace love and faith. they twist into a black spool on my front shoulder that unravels to spell compassion with a sewing needle piercing my heart"

She sent a link to pics of her getting some cover-up work done with a patch-work heart and some other stuff going on and it was pretty awesome. In no particular order here is another entry I received. Becky sent a couple of pics of her embroidery and button tattoo done by Frank McManus at the Brass Monkey Studio in Harrisburg, Pa. You know how you have your links that are in every email you send and for a lot of us that's a link to our etsy store?! Becky is one of those and who doesn't love a nickle's worth of free advertising. Check out her store.

Up next (on the D.L.?) is rainbowsweetstitch. This was "done by Tom Kenney from Classic Electric Tattoo in Frederick, Maryland". So if you are there, go see Tom. And for what it's worth: I have always had a thing for the idea of a woman with a couple T.I.E. fighters and Yavin IV for her tramp stamp. Embroidery scissors on your shoulder...not bad, either!

Last but not least. Though further then most...somewhere in the upper-middle range is the always-fucking-awesome Giggly Mama. I don't know but I am seriously thinking that this may be the most...simple? Not in design or execution, it's amazing. But it seems sparce in such a beautiful way. It makes me wish I had a hoop on my arm too. Here is what Mama says:

My life long pal and tattoo artist, is Scott Osburn (Facebook | Scott Osburn). He tattooed this embroidery themed tattoo on my left arm. He freehand tattooed it, no pattern before hand. :)

Awesome job, Scott! If there were a runner up prize it would probably suck so don't feel bad. Remember the piece I did for MY tattoo artist? Well, I promised the winner of this gig a matching piece. I decided to do it in a different color scheme and it's a funny story. I was gonna do blue and red on the border. I couldn't find the blue I wanted and the baby was sleeping so I could not run to the store. I found the orange and purple sitting next to each other in the first drawer I opened and figured: What the fuck!?! It's coming to you, Quilterina, deal with it!

Thank you, ladies. In all honesty, this has been a blast. Getting in touch with people, getting touched by in people. All of it!

There's a Real Cool Club on the Other Side of Town: My Adventures in the E.G.A.

2010-09-20T07:44:00.000-07:00

The Embroidery Guild of America. Immediately your mind is filled with old women sewing the same fabric for the last two decades, sitting with their backs to the door not interested in getting out or letting anyone (or anything) new in. Not so.

The Camellia chapter of the EGA meets at my local power utility offices and quite honestly could probably be mistaken for a woman's 12-step meeting except for the lack of coffee. Naturally, I was a little nervous. I am male, young(er, 30,) then anyone else I saw walking in and there is the fact that these ladies know their stuff...more then I do for sure.

So I was completely taken back when it was all "hello's" and handshakes. Everyone was very welcoming. Charlie is in charge of new memberships and a perfect welcoming committee. She explained the groups policy on visitors and how the meetings kind of go.

I was sat next to Marge and Carol and I didn't catch to much of what happened in the meeting after that. We talked about stitching, little known floss makers they like to use, and they even taught me the quick-cheat version of railroading (this is where you put your needle back through the two threads of floss, or between the tracks, so they generally lay side by side). This has been worth the trip already as I did not have, nor did I have any interest in buying, a laying tool.

One thing I noticed was that everyone had something out that they were working on. I was so surprised and thought they would get in trouble...but that is sort of the purpose of the whole thing isn't it. I really was upset that I didn't bring anything to work on.

There was a group project that you had to have signed up for. They supplied the cloth and project, you were to bring floss and everything else. It was very cool. A finished one made it's way around the room and my camera stayed at home (sorry folks). It blew my mind the way stitching was being done here. So many techniques. So many new ways to play.

At the end I stayed and talked. I am going back and I am going to take part in the next project (I am a sucker for group things), and I think I am really going to like the whole experience. If there are any naysayers, try looking up your local chapter at www.egausa.org and give it a go. If you are in the Sacramento area, give me a shout in the comments or email at whateverjamesinstitches@gmail.com. And if anyone else has been to a meeting of the EGA or you are a member, leave your experience in the comments too.

But Can You Stitch To It?: Weezer - Hurley

2010-09-14T18:27:00.000-07:00

Weezer has a lot to answer for. Their self-titled debut, lovingly referred to as the Blue Album saw non-stop play in my Discman in my freshman year in high school. The follow-up was everything I could have wanted at the time. I was moving past Nirvana but had only just started to find Bad Religion and NOFX. They both also established that ten seemed to be the perfect number of songs on a Weezer album.

Since then I have listened to every Weezer record and have my likes and dislikes with each one (mostly dislikes). But now comes the strangely titles, and even strangely-er covered, Hurley

Musically speaking it honestly sounds like it should have been the third album. The weird pop of the blue album is back and with it the out-of-nowhere screams and more obviously heartfelt lyrics that became the downfall and eventual rise of Pinkerton.

But Can You Stitch To It?

I believe you can. I can and have and will. So neener-neener! The first three songs are my favorite and they follow a musical slide. The rest of the album doesn't feel like a progression through songs so much as a Weezer radio show: "Here have some songs in no particular order". Sometimes this can kill a stitch session for me. Sometimes you just want to sink into the music regardless of if it's a symphony, Metallica's Black Album or a jungle sounds relaxation disc. Think I sound like a artsy jackass? Well, I do but I am still right. Go stitch to your favorite album on shuffle. I'll wait. Really, you like that? ... ... See what I mean. Your brain was caught off guard when the order was changed. For Hurley I think this isn't really a problem. Maybe due to the eclectic mix of material they have released, I don't know, but everything does sound like a Weezer song, so it all kind of mixes well even if it doesn't necessarily flow. The deluxe edition adds four more songs. Two I really like are the way-out-of-left-field "All My Friends Are Insects" and the live and acoustic "Viva La Vida"

All in all its a good album and an enjoyable listen. It touches a little on most types of "rock" music and when I was at Starbucks stitching and the album ended I put it on again while I finished the letter I was working on. That should say enough I guess.

Comments people! Have you heard Hurley? What did you think? What else are you listening to while you stitch? Post here or go have a go at a discussion on the new Facebook fan page!

Getting Ink and Giving Stitches

2010-09-09T06:51:00.000-07:00

Okay, babies and gentlemen. We have a winner and they are...going to have to wait just a little longer! FACE!!!

In the meantime though, some of you may remember my cross stitch tattoo. For those of you who do not, here is a trip down memory lane. When I left I asked my artist, Nick, what he was into. First he mentioned G.G. Alin and finally just said the more out there the better. He had a lot of art in his little tattoo cave that he had done that was more traditional but inspired by modern times as well. The old-timey female boxer with the Stormtrooper helmet was a personal favorite.

Long story short I grabbed some old fabric I had around and using just black, gray and white I came up with this:

Also, I have been so taken by my tattoo and the response that I think it has become my little "signature" for smaller pieces. So whenever I think "Whatever James" is too much stitching for a signature I will just do this:

Does this symbolic representation of my name make me the "Prince" of cross stitch? I hope so because I want to Batdance!

9/03/10: National Stitch In Public Day

2010-09-02T20:57:00.000-07:00

I think it's only half about that and half that I just like being "seen"! Now turn of the interwebs, get out there and stitch where they can see you!!!

We got two Articles of Faith, 31 minutes of group sex We got a couple of Avengers, and a pair of Out Of Steps...

2010-08-31T13:29:00.000-07:00

Yup, the recent contest (still running through tonight, btw) nagged me off the couch and into action! So now you can follow the site on facebook, which I will actually update because, well, I like reading what's in my head!

So "like" it, love it, stroke it gently at first then break out the ball gag. What do you mean there's no "so and so would ball-gag this" button. Maybe I don't want a facebook, then. Link is on the sidebar --->

I'm not saying I have picked a random number for another contest winner but...that's exactly what I am saying.

Fortunately, I Live In A Constant State Of Emergency

2010-08-27T20:36:00.001-07:00

My friend Rooster and I go back...crap it's closer to ten years then I think we realize. We started out on the Sunday morning shift at RadioShack and since everyone was at church I would bring my electric guitar and he would play one of the display keyboards. I was gonna be a rock god and he was going to be a hip hop star and audio engineer in his own studio.

Today he is a member of the only hip hop group I like, Coldcokt, and he just graduated audio engineering school. Now he knows how to work all the stuff in the studio in his second bedroom. As for me I adjust claims by day and fight criminals with my cross stitch and witty online banter by night! Okay, okay...so it's early evening.

Anyway I have wanted to do this piece for a while now. It's been done elsewhere, and probably better. But I wanted to make him something to celebrate and grease the wheels on some studio time! The one thing I am taking from this piece is "matting" with scrapbook paper. I LOVE IT! Here's how it came out:

And here is Rooster doing what he does best. I am told it's called "Rocking The Mic".

I guess so.

A Contest? But Only God Can Judge Me!

2010-08-14T11:21:00.001-07:00

Things don't exist simply because you believe in them, thus sayeth the almighty creature in the sky - Dr. Banjo

So I have decided to do a contest. Why not. I really have wanted to turn this into a "real blog" but with my style or lack thereof. I even have a domain somewhere else where I am practicing being more personable. But let's try here.

I am making my tattoo artist a piece to say thank you. Actually it's going to say "Fuck Your Shit". If you want one too, send in your craft tattoos and I will pick a winner. Well, I won't but I will find some random ass way to pick a winner. Send entries to whateverjamesinstitches@gmail.com

Here are the rules:
1. I can't enter.
2. You should. Since I doubt many people actually read this your chances are pretty good. And on that note:
3. Naked pics won't help you win, but they also couldn't hurt. Remember I have a wife in real life so it's all for fun but let's not get nasty. Respect yourself and her...or at least her.
4. If I get a naked pick of Jamie because of this - he automatically wins!
5. A winner will be picked at random from all entries.
6. Craft tattoos only but any craft is ok. If you do pottery maybe show off your "ghost
tattoo - what you don't have one too? If you are a tattoo artist don't send in pictures of your work unless you have done a craft piece...or maybe you have a tattoo of a tattoo gun or something.
7. If possible, include info on your artist. We like seeing our names by our work so let's give them the same respect!

That's it for the rules, I think. Send entries to whateverjamesinstitches@gmail.com before (looks for random date on the calendar) August 31, 2010.

Cool And Unusual Punishment

2010-08-14T08:32:00.000-07:00

I finally got my cross stitch tattoo! It came at great personal sacrifice but here it is:

Big thanks to Nick M. over at Fat Cat Tattoo on and in Fair Oaks, CA!

Pic is less then an hour after taking the plastic off (I love how we get to "unwrap" new tattoos - it's like a fucked-up Christmas). That was Thursday night and as of Saturday morning it is setting so damn pretty. Hey, it has purple in it so it can be as pretty as I want it to be! By the by, the purple is a mix of the single light and single dark purples he had.

I know what your thinking: "Where's the personal sacrifice? It's not a heroic story unless our star suffers some tragedy!" Well here you go, you hateful sons of bitches: I managed to lose 7 projects spanning my ENTIRE cross stitch career and representing over 100 hours of work.

I almost always have my craft bag with me. Its like my god-damn purse, really. I placed it on top of the car when I was getting our youngest out of her seat. Can you see it coming from a mile away? Yes, Windy went to the store later that night and since it is not her job to listen for stray craft bags falling of the roof, she did not hear it do so. It's been really hard to get her to realize it was not her fault and I am not mad at her. I don't think she actually reads my blog but if so: I love you!

The bag was, itself, awesome. It was a DMC branded bag from the craft store and I loved it so much I have been meaning to "review" it here at some point. But inside were projects I carry to show off my work (rest assured you can see pictures on my iPod instead from now on). I will post about them separately.

So who has crafty tattoos? Send a pic to whateverjamesinstitches@gmail.com and I'll post it here with some words about how awesome it is (spoiler). Here is me with mine (my tattoo gutter-brain):

Whatever James (The Logo): In Stitches

2010-07-27T21:54:00.000-07:00

Has it really been 20 days since my last post? Wow. Well, for anyone who has been patiently ~~stalking~~ checking the site daily: MADE YOU LOOK!

Seriously, after a little more then six months in the unemployment line, I finally picked up a temp position in my regular industry! I think it's gonna go the three month distance but I like it so much already I applied for the gig permanently - we will wait and see. While this has taken a H-U-G-E bite out of my stitching time, I have managed to get some projects done and I will try to post them every few days.

The first piece is very special to me. A few years ago when I started getting social on the internet I thought that a bad-ass like myself needed a logo (and a theme song). All I knew is it had to be a heart with a lightning bolt "crack" in it and it had to have my initials. Armed with that amazing idea and a broken crayon I created a work of art my mom won't even hang on the fridge!

Fortunately growing up there were three brothers who were very close to our family and, honestly, my little brother and I consider them as much family as anyone we have ever actually been related to, to this day (Family Is More Then Blood - Mandalorian proverb). His name is Gabriel and he is a true renaissance man. He is a graphic artist, an amazing musician, takes neat pictures, it's rumored he is made out of candy and he's an all around good guy. He turned my garbage into art (you can see it as my profile pic right here on the blog) and the circle is now complete because I have stitched the logo he made.

I actually started this back in 2007 and it fell by the wayside so I am stoked to finally have it done. Thanks Gabe, you are the man! And if you like music check him out on iTunes. Yes, it's mostly bluesy stuff and yeah, he's my friend but I would suggest it anyway because good music is good music!

I Can't Control My Fingers, I Can't Control My Brain

2010-07-09T08:17:00.000-07:00

Does that mean I am busy with multiple crafting projects or that I just REALLY want to be sedated? No I am confused!

I think I have a total of four projects going and I am really starting to feel a little duck-duck-goosed! Every time I set one project down I try to make sure I pick a different one up the next time...and because I am a huge nerd (lots-o-nerdy, not overweight...I mean I am, that's just not where I was going with that statement) I try to keep the rotation order the same.

So, of course, I am working on Tinkerbell for MJ's birthday, which if you missed my last post about it: I Hate You! I am also working on a popular project for a friend, you may have seen it elsewhere, "In Case Of Emergency Break Dance" and there is a little boom box! I am working on the time travel code from the first Futurama move, Bender's Big Score - check it out! Finally, I am finishing a piece I started back in 2007: I am stitching the little heart logo I use everywhere with the lightining-bolt break and my initials in it.

Since three of the four or smaller projects I really hope to have some neat stuff to show soon. I am also finishing up a tutorial on how to personalize travel mugs with stitches and also a "review" of the craft-satchel Windy got me for my birthday and I honestly don't think I can live without!

Talk Back: How many projects are you balancing and how do you manage them all?

You Know That Place Between Sleep And Awake...?

2010-07-03T14:26:00.000-07:00

That's where I am right now, stitchingly speaking, anyhow. First off, let's give some love to Oprah theirs was the only comment left! In response: Thanks for the comments. I'm a big fan of rock projects (a series 0f punk covers is on my to-do list) so please let us know when it's done then we can go crowd up your blog or board or where ever you may post it! (A little thinking out loud here:) if you want I could even post it here for others to see...some reader appreciation, if you will!

So now that "Punks Not Dead" is done there is one project I wanted to focus on. It is a store-bought kit of Disney's Tinkerbell. It's 98% backstitching to look like a quick pencil sketch. There are some metallic threads in half-stitch to add some color highlights but there really is not a standard cross stitch in the whole thing. Oh, there are some quarter stitches too. I know, I know, I am getting fancy but that's what happens when you finish a big project and you let it go to your head!

She is coming along much faster then I expected. She is for my oldest daughter's fifth birthday so she doesn't need to be completed until 7/25! Here is where we were at a couple days ago when I took the pictures.

The bottom half is completely done. The only color was on her feet so it went fast. Since taking the picture I have completed the top half except the color and the wings. There is some crazy back stitching on the wings so I am admittedly taking a small "break".

I have two or three other little projects going right now too but I will get into those tomorrow. I want to get some stitching done before the holiday festivities start today and my DVR is begging me to finish last night's UFC fights.

In the meantime (because I will miss you and assume you will miss me too) check out Mr X Stitch for their Craftster Pick of the Week. It's Me. Whatever James!

Punks Not Dead!!!

2010-06-22T13:46:00.000-07:00

Although I have heard it might be taking a nap after a long lunch (thanks to Mr. X Stitch for that bit of comedy gold)!!!

So where do I start with this one? For anyone reading this for a while you may remember I was excited about setting up a booth at a punk rock swap meet that unfortunately never happened =( This was a request from the person putting it together and was going to be "swapped" for my table fees. Like I said it never happened so I kinda worked on it for a while but lately I wanted to get it done.

It's done:

So it took about six months and I do not know how many hours. It was not an exclusive relationship, though. About 1.5 miles of DMC 666, which I believe is bright christmas red. There is probably a little DMC 321 in there too, which I know for a fact is I'm not paying attention to which red I grab this late at night! There are a few mistakes but I will try to save those for a day I don't have anything to post or if everyone requests it (jerks). I don't know how many stitches there are (sorry, I threw that info away back in January) but I did make the pattern using KG Stitch, a free program, and I am nothing if not cheap! I really will keep track of this for future projects!

Thanks for sticking with me on this, it has been fun. Next up is a kit of Tinkerbell for my daughter's 5th birthday. It's big and it's due by July 25th!

Comments: What big projects, if any, are you working on and what about the little updates to the blog? Suggestions? Critiques? Don't care?

Give Me An "E"

2010-06-19T20:12:00.001-07:00

So Windy took Kadie out shopping for father's day. I needed to get away from the house so I went to Starbucks, through on an ipod playlist and got busy! I know I "never stop stitching" at home but there are lots of things people do at home that they prefer to do out. I mean how many people do you see reading at a coffee shop? You can do that at home too! So, yeah, I like to stitch in public. It must have something to do with my exhibitionist nature: I just like to be seen!!!

A Is For Anarchy (Insert Snarly Punk Face Here)

2010-06-19T09:35:00.000-07:00

I was on a decent track last night and am still working today. Here is the "A" all done! Why did I start in the middle and then work my way back to the beginning? It worked for Star Wars and I don't even have a Jar-Jar Binks!

Currently listening to Stephen Egerton - Seven Degrees of Stephen Egerton.
Currently watching Futurama.
Currently eating: COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone Is Making Me Work!!!

2010-06-18T13:03:00.000-07:00

First off... I got some big love on the latest Stitchin n Junk podcast big thanks to the great folks over at Mr X Stitch for that. If you are here because of said love, welcome. If you just hit "next blog" and are trying to figure out why you are here: Pterodactyl Cupcakes! Figure THAT out!!!

Here are links to a couple of the projects mentioned on the podcast:

The Pac-Man ghosts can be found here and the Star Wars Valentine here.

My internet connection was M.I.A. for a while and I finally heard the new podcast last night and knew I would have to post a little something while finishing my latest project. I was not sure what to do. Fortunately Windy always finds something for me to do...it just usually involves the dishes.

Here is where I am with the Punk Is Dead project. Windy just came home 17 minutes ago and looks me in the eye and says: Can you finish that by tomorrow? I guess they are having a huge sale on mounting and framing...which ends tomorrow and she wants to do that for my fathers day gift. Nice but couldn't you tell me about this two days ago? And what the hell am I still posting for? I have a whole lot of Star Wars to watch, music to listen to and stitches to cross!!

See you tomorrow.

Punks Not...

2010-05-30T14:55:00.001-07:00

Fwd:
Originally uploaded by whateverjames

Here it is! Two-thirds done. Maybe not mathematically correct but I am counting words, not stitches. This is also the last time all the completed parts will be visible until its done *sniff*. I have already rolled it up and started outlining the "D" (for D-ead).

Now It's Time For Something Completely Similar:
I may have to set this big project aside (Say its not true, Whatever)! My oldest daughter turns 5 at the end of July and I am doing this rather large kit I got of Tinkerbell. It's really neat. It looks like a hand drawing! Anyway, to make sure I hit the deadline I am going to be stopping the Punk project in about two weeks to focus on her gift...let's see how far I can get!

Useless thought: I just realized in the previous paragraph I referred to myself as if Whatever was my first name and not my nickname. Odd. Even for me.

Bored of Black and Red

2010-05-20T08:21:00.001-07:00

Bored
Originally uploaded by whateverjames

Ok, I hope the new look doesn't make your eyes bleed. I am trying this from my new flickr account and I am sure this is gonna come out upside down and in Japanese. God damn you half-Japanese girls, you do it to me every time (My apologies to Rivers Cuomo).

Anyway, I saw this on a shirt, or a bumper sticker, or something and I just needed a break from the black and red wall that my big project is turning into. I whipped it up while Windy and I were watching Alice In Wonderland.

It's a small piece so it gets a small post. Out.

Back In The Saddle...But I'd Rather Be Back To The Future

2010-05-14T17:30:00.000-07:00

And I don't mean because my mom looked like Leah Thompson did in 1955, I want a hover board. Anyway, I'm back! Sorry to take off like that and not call or anything (it wasn't you, it was me).

I got laid off back in February and finding a new job has been harder then finding Jesus. I'm just kidding, I didn't find Jesus. I have been looking for a job, though. In the meantime, I started really stitching again after a short lull. I'm still working on "Punks Not Dead" and would say I am about half way there. You can see that I am outlining each letter. I know its unconventional but its been a big help in getting it done at a decent pace.

I have some new stuff in the work. Maybe we can try some of it out soon in the near future. Until then, here is where I am right now:

Valentines 2010: I Have Immunity This Challenge!!!

2010-02-19T13:25:00.000-08:00

So Valentines was last weekend and that means Windy got something cross stitched instead of shiny or put-it-in-a-vase-and-watch-it-die-y!

I know the first one has been done a lot but I have been meaning to do it and since I can't top last years model, that gave me free reign. I guess this is what it feels like to have immunity on Project Runway. I could cross stitch a monkey opening a coconut with a turtle and it won't matter because last year was so great! That said I was really happy with how it turned out and she loved it too. Already framed and displayed too!

Speaking of tetris stitches, Mr X-Stitch himself told me that this really old project of mine was recently posted by the cool folks over at technabob.

The second I did just because I have wanted to do it for a while now and never got around to it. I was going to do it a different way but I really wanted something fast so I did a pretty straight forward thing.

A friend tried to tell me that her hubby thinks this sort of thing is ruining the curve for my guy friends. I say if there is a woman who actually wants a valentine that says "I'd rather kiss a wookie", well then I ~~want to introduce her to my Ewok~~ don't want to know about it because I love my wife.

You Seem Nervous. Is It The Scars?

2010-01-22T15:28:00.000-08:00

First the really cool news: I have been invited to set up a table and attempt to sell my cross-stitch projects at the third Punk Swap Meet here in Sacramento on 2/06/10! Woo-Hoo!! I’m excited and kinda going in expecting to not sell anything but damn it will be fun. I don’t really know any other crafters in my area. The old ladies at Michael’s always look at me weird when they find out I stitch or, if we make it that far, when they see what I stitch (insert boo lip here). But who cares, I will be around people who are like-minded and out to find some neat stuff. I honestly think I am looking more forward to talking to people who are unfamiliar with needlework, this type of needlework, or with dudes doing needlework then I am about being able to quit my job and live the stitch and needle dream of making my income selling bad words on fabric. I think it’s safe to say I am gonna have a good time. And there is gonna hopefully be a concert afterwards.

So, in anticipation of the swap meet I am working on some new projects, just to have some new stuff to display and get my floss flowing! Since it seems like I have been doing a lot of wordy projects and sampler-type work I thought it was time to get another picture piece done and considering my last “portrait” was Bender Rodriquez of Futurama fame, I decided to do another portrait. I have been watching the Dark Knight a bit lately and my friend, Richard, is guaranteed to wear one of two types of shirts on casual Friday (he has multiples of each): UC Berkeley or Heath Ledger’s Joker. So I found a pic I liked and spent a few hours editing it in KG Stitch - an awesome freeware program by the way. I highly recommend it for anyone too underpaid to get their hands on PC Stitch.

There are roughly 1500 stitches and I can’t wait to clean, iron and frame it but I am waiting to do everything in one day! I was hoping to do a series of projects, each taking about a week. This one took almost two. So now I really have to get crackin! The next piece was actually requested by the organizer of the swap meet…and I think it’s my first requested piece ever! Sweet!

He Must Know Somebody Over There Thats Got To Be The Reason: Best Of Craftster 2009

2010-01-14T11:21:00.000-08:00

I'm a Craftster Best of 2009 Winner!

Holy Cow. I logged on to craftster.org today to see one of my old projects (it was a Valentine’s gift) had a new comment on it. Come to find out I made craftster.org’s Best of 2009 list!!!

There is a little explanation of how they pick their list and you can view the whole best of 2009 here. The original post I made of my project, and comments from others, can be found here.

I’ve never claimed to be the most creative or technically sound stitcher out there. Just using those two parameters I can think of ten projects that I would have expected to see up there in place of mine. What I REALLY appreciate about this is that I think I got picked based on emotion. The emotion of the project, the emotion it brought in others, etc. I really didn’t know how better to tell Windy I love her more then anything then to hold her up against the obsession I am best known for people. I mean, seriously, I have Star Wars tattoos…and one is on my neck. MY NECK, PEOPLE! I named one of my daughters Mara Jade!

When I am writing a song or crossing stitches, it is emotional to me. I write songs I want to hear about things that I know about and I rarely ever cross-stitch something I can’t enjoy. Most of the time, the only response I am looking from anyone else is the occasional laugh. Windy would say I like to think I am funny. I would say I like to think I am hilarious.

But this one was private (in a sense). It was all my emotions about her, to her. The emotion I wanted back was her love and for her to really understand mine, which I got (Go Team). So even if you aren’t on craftster, if you have never seen the project, or if you just don’t care – thanks everyone for your comments, your emotional responses and for your support. You really are the reason I get up every morning and give it 65%, or so.

Now, how about your favorite craft project of 2009? You can give props to someone else if you want but I won’t mind if we all sit around and toot our own horns. In fact, I used to go to parties like that. Not really. Ok, really.

It Came From Outer Space

2010-01-08T00:26:00.000-08:00

Ok, maybe not. But it did come from an 80's video game and an 1898 novel...both based on outer space. Sadly I must admit this brilliant design is not mine. It comes from the good folks over at Sprite Stitch and they were inspired by one of my favorite thread artists beefranck.

Obviously I wanted to use the black for a space/arcade screen look. The green is DMC 704 and I just liked the way it looked. I used two threads because I still wanted to give it a thin or something I might make the border look "pixel-y". The lettering is three threads of DMC 307. I did think about using glow-in-the-dark thread, maybe for the border, but that thought didn't come until tonight when I was finishing the lettering. I have no idea the amount of time spent. I started it Sunday and have worked on it at lunch and at night. It's 12:32 a.m. on Friday and I just finished. You can see I have not even ironed it yet.

And holy shit - I think my time away has made my ability to take pictures even worse then it was... well, if you can't read it it says "We can never anticipate the unseen good or evil that may come upon us suddenly out of space - H.G. Wells". I just thought the pairing of that quote with the border was awesome.

So I have been working on my big Bad Religion piece of the holidays (no, really. I have). But I am gonna set it down for a bit. I am gonna be selling my wares at a swap meet in February and I want to have a few more/new pieces to take with me! If anyone is in, or knows anyone in, the Sacramento area, stay tuned as I will be posting more info soon!

2010: I'm Not Making Resolutions, I Am Making Plans!

2010-01-04T16:23:00.000-08:00

Alright party people! How Is everyone doing? Obviously I took some time away from the blog to focus on work, family and being lazy over the holidays (Go Team)! But I’m back, baby!

The reason for the title of this post is everyone always makes then breaks their resolutions (myself included). By December 31^st you can’t even remember what you resolved to do, and probably end up making the same resolution anyway! So this year I am making plans. One of my plans is to get out there and start meeting other people (locally) who do crafts with the same subversive mindset as myself. Another plan is to get out and start attempting to sell some of my work that is just sitting around. I’m not looking to make millions (yes, I am) but if I can make enough that the projects pay for themselves, and maybe a new set of guitar strings once in a while, that would be cool. But that’s not why I stitch, it would just be awesome!

With all of that said, I am hoping very soon to announce where I will be first. There is a Punk Swap Meet on February 6^th, and I am trying to reach someone about a table there. In the meantime, I am using this as the fire under my ass to start getting some of my to-do list done!

Looking forward to 2010: What project are you REALLY gonna try and do/finish?

Six Stitches With Brain Death - Part 2...AND 3!!!

2009-09-26T14:54:00.000-07:00

Two new pieces from my Six Women project.

The World Is Wonderful
This is a line from the opening song. Obviously there is lots of sarcasm

We've Arrived
This is the song they sing in the skit where six "best friends" reunite for their 20th high school reunion. Naturally there are lies about how the have arrived but as the song goes on and the champagne goes too...well the horrible, funny truths come out!

I know this is a short and to-the-point post but I have three more to finish, some carpet to rip up and a friend's CD release show tonight. Needless to say I am a little busy. Sorry and look forward to a REALLY fun post with part 4! Until then, be excellent to each other.

Six Stitches With Brain Death: God Is An Alien

2009-09-21T06:45:00.000-07:00

I am still plugging along on the Bad Religion cover but recently got inspired to do a series of small projects. Has anyone seen the play "Six Women With Brain Death or Expiring Minds Want To Know"? Well it ran here in Sacramento for ten years at the studio theatre until 2006. I made an effort to take anyone I could think of to this play and I literally saw it 20 times! It is now showing again for a limited time by the Lambda Players as a tribute to the original 10-year run and I saw it last friday and it felt like the play never went away, only I did. There was always something different each time I saw it and this time it was as if 3 1/2 years of "little differences" were added. I LOVED IT!

As the title implies the play stars six women. So I am doing six small projects. All will be titles of some of the skits or some of my favorite lines. I hope to give them to the actresses which is why I can't put this off until after my big project. This is from the skit and song "God Is An Alien". It involves a musical religion started after an alien abduction and the deely-bopper at the bottom is what they all wear during this skit. The letters are purple because so are thier robes.

I consider this a testiment to how much I enjoyed the play. Not just about the projects but I used metallic thread for part of the headpiece, despite promising myself to never do it again. Sure there are only a handful of metalic stitches but like Dan Andriano I was hating every minute!

Baby's First Stitch or First Steps Are For Sentimental Losers!

2009-09-08T15:11:00.000-07:00

Finally got the band and title lettering done and am gonna post it in a couple of days but that's not what I am here to talk about today.

It's no secret I only have daughters. I mean Windy has a couple of boys who I love dearly but they have a good dad who cares about them and is in the picture so when it's time to do/learn certain things it will probably come from him. As much as I would have loved a son of my own I have always felt woefully under-qualified for raising one. I didn't get my driver's license until I was 25 and even then it was only because my ex was 8 months pregnant and I was pretty sure that making her drive us to the hospital while in labor was something only a real jerk of a guy would do and let's face it - I'm all class *cough* *cough*. So cars are out. I don't like them and only know how to put gas in them. I'm not very sporty either. I mean I get the gist of each game but damn do the real men get a little over excited about a sports team or what? And the one time I tried to watch a football game I could not understand why they called it the "red zone" when it wasn't red. There was a little yellow line showing how far they had to go to get a "down" or whatever but...nevermind. I don't do sports. Then there's diapers. Changing girls are easy: Front to back!!! That's all. As I gown man all I gotta do is shake it a little (a little more and that means I am playi, er, I only shake it three times. Ever. I swear). But if you are changing a boy's diaper I am pretty sure you gotta clean the little guy's three-piece and that's work people! Girls are sooooo much easier as long as you F2B! I'm told I don't even dress right. Something about the hearts on my belt and my purple velvet blazer. You know when you line it all up like this I bet Windy is pretty embarassed sometimes. Fuck it, she knows I love her!

So why all the rambling? Because my little girl is growing up! She loves to watch me cross-stitch. She will stand in front of me and when I push the needled down she drops to her knees to see it then she comes back up and laughs when I push it back through. She has started "helping" by grabbing the needle when I push it up (I can't control her as well when I can't see the needle too) and pulling it through. She hands it back and waits for the next time the needle shows itself to laugh and grab at it!!!

Her mom is gonna have to show her how to change a tire and paint a house interior but I can't wait to show her how to back stitch. Sorry the pics are a little small but I wanted to ~~hide my "I'm 29 and balding" look~~ make sure they all fit!!

How Could A New Big Project Be Any Worse?

2009-08-24T21:21:00.000-07:00

What with starting he new job and everything I know I kinda fell short on finishing my Obi-Wan project. He's not dead, not yet anyway. Just on hold. I took a break from all stitching when I started the new job and started again after Windy and I lost Logan.

That brings me to what I really am hoping will be a fun multi-piece project: Album Covers! When I am not stitching I am playing my guitar and singing my little songs so music has always been a part of me and has always helped me to get through the tough times. Losing Logan was no different. I am starting this project with the first album I listened to after everything had happened. Bad Religion's How Could Hell Be Any Worse? It's not my favorite BR album but with everything I was going through I was sitting here scrolling through my music library and the album title just hit me so hard and I listened to it over and over and over.

There are some other ones I am looking forward to doing, although I think they will be of various sizes. Certain albums will hit close to home on an emotional basis and some may just be albums I like. There may even be one or two that I think will just make cool projects.

So here is where I am at so far:
It's got a long way to go but once I finish the lettering it will go quicker. I am so in love with the red cloth too!

I Love Rock and Roll So Put Another Stitch in the Aida Baby

2009-08-19T16:52:00.000-07:00

I do a lot of quotes. Part of it is because when I look up at work or at home I want to see something that makes me smile, or laugh, or gives me inspiration. If it is something I made for someone else I want them to get the same thing…and think of me. I’m like that! Another part of it is, well, pictures seem to take a lot more time then I have project attention span.

I’ve done quotes from some of my favorite shows and songs. I have quoted songs I have written. I have quoted a lot of people who just say stuff that cracks me up. When it’s said and after we have had a good laugh someone will usually look at me and say “you should stitch that” and sometimes I do.

After losing Logan last month there have been a lot of sleepless nights and one night I decided to check in on www.mrxstitch.com. I went to most of the links including manbroidery.blogspot.com. There was this interview that Jamie (Mr. X Stitch) had done back in April or so. Cool interview and of course I love guys in crafts/needlework talk.

Well this is a quote from that interview. Being that I look up to Jamie so much I am kind of surprised that I didn’t do something from him sooner. In my post at www.craftster.org I even likened it to what young women probably felt like when they here Joan Jett sing “I love Rock and Roll” for the first time.

The fact that I am in the middle of a big project and stopped to truly do this one "one the fly" was kinda cool too.

So who's crafts (not just needlework if you don't want to) gets you going? Got a link? Share with the class!

Mu Unfortunate Return (The project I wish I didn't have to do)

2009-07-25T16:59:00.000-07:00

This blog still exists!!!

As I mentioned back in May I got a new job where I don't have the opportunity to cross stitch all day. Some days I am lucky to get a lunch, truth be told.

The good news is the new job is going great. I am busy but at least I'm not bored. Here at home things have been good (and busy) too. Windy's boys stay with us a few nights a week now that we have their room painted and they have beds. It's summer so there are tons of things for families to do that are being put on by the city such as game show nights on wednesdays and movies in the park on saturdays. And I have been devoting a lot of time to my other hobby: playing guitar/singing/songwriting. Trying to get some gigs for the summer, etc.

The best part was that Windy and I were expecting another child. A boy. She has two but, biologically speaking (cause I love those boyos), I don't have any. I only have girls. She even let me totally geek out on the name: Logan Xavier. Yes, I was into all the "X" books growing up: -Men, -Factor, -Force, even Weapon-.

Unfortunately on Monday, July 6th I woke up at about one or two in the morning to the sound of Windy screaming. She had gone in to labor early. Too early. Logan did not make it. It has been a rough couple of weeks to say the least. We had literally just told our other kids they were going to have a little brother so we had to break the news to all of them.

All of my kids have birth announcements and Logan was not going to be any different. At the memorial service we wrote messages on balloons and sent them off. I included some of the lyrics from "99 Red Balloons" to the announcement and most of the balloons we used at the service were red. I live and grew up in Sacramento and Kevin Seconds has always been a hero of mine, musically speaking. I know 7 Seconds did not write that song but I have heard them perform it so many times and Kevin plays it solo/acoustic once in a while. To me the song sounds like surviving the end of the world and honestly that is a perfect explination of how this whole experience has felt. So the song seemed fitting.

Stitching has been very cathartic during this time. Sometimes I would cry so much I couldn't see the wholes in my cloth or my hands were shaking so bad. But it helped. It took my mind off things. It gave me an outlet. It helped me accept. So in the comments, how has crafting helped you? You don't have to talk about the situation you went through if you don't want but what did you craft? Why? What did you do with the project from such an experience and how did crafting help you through?

I missed you all but I wish I was not "back" yet. I wish there had not been a need for this project. But there was so I would like to share it with you.

My Big Push, Pt. 1: "Intelligence Is A Turn On" is a lie

2009-05-10T12:05:00.000-07:00

Ok, finally get to spill the big news: The meeting went great. I got a new job that starts on the 18th. The great news is its an 80% annual raise (Yaaaaayyyyy). The bad news is that I will not have the opportunity to sit around and cross stitch like I have the last year and a half (boooooooo). But thats the sacrifice we make, I guess. I just hope I will have the chance to stitch more at home to compensate.

Needless to say that my Obi-Wan project will have to wait. Maybe next years State Fair. I am also working on what I call my "Big Push" I am going to try to do as many of my smaller projects as I can before the new job starts and the stitch time ends.

So with that said here is my first piece, also a gift for Windy on mother's day. The kids always tell us they love us to the moon and back, or around the sun and back to my heart or something sweet like that. Windy and I were laying around and she started to tell me she loved me to the moon and around Pluto and out by the other plantets, etc.

I started to explain that 1) Pluto's not a planet anymore. 2) The planets dont exactly line up in their orbit so her love would be constantly passing me as it tried to make its way along the path she set. Apparently poetic romanticism is not to be mixed with scientific fact because this was Windy's response:

Serious Statement/Aloof Response

2009-04-21T15:08:00.000-07:00

Ok, so excuse personal indulgence here. And sincerity. In just a couple hours I will have the single most important meeting I have had in a long time, if ever. I tire of everyone's obsession with the economy. It seems as if it is the excuse, the reason or the result of just about of anything. And yet, I must admit that an opportunity like the one I am meeting about is rare in these economic times. Yes, I am crazy-nervous.

This brings me to my most recent project. I am a HUGE Futurama fan. I mean, huge. My favorite line delivery (not neccessarily my favorite line) is about 6:25 into the episode "The Why of Fry". The main Character, Fry, is supposed to savethe universe and is told that the fate of all that exists or ever will exist depends on him. He is the single most important person in the universe. He replies with a simple "Oh Snap"! I've been thinking of how important this meeting is today and I keep thinking of that line. I love the unbelievable weight of burden coupled with such an aloof reaction. So I did this last week while awaiting today!

The reason I love Futurama is the Fry/Leela dynamic. He is so in love with her and will do anything to please her, although screws up a lot and has it backfire. I am drawn to this because of my relationship with my better half. I have loved her since junior high and would do anything for her, and yes, I do screw up a lot in the attempt. At the end of the episode I took this quote from Leela has no idea of what Fry has accomplished for her. She has been on a horrible date with an overly self-important jerk and when he walks in the room she says Fry may not be the most important person in the universe but she is glad he is there with her right then. He replies then he is the most important person in the universe! I know how ever this goes today that's how she will feel of me and thus I will feel about it too!

Well that's it for my I am freaking the F out and typing anything and everything that comes to mind in my nervous state post. I promise next time I'll find a way to work in a few more dirty words and maybe something with bananas...

In the meantime how about favorite unrequited or hopelessly devoted loves in the comment sections. Books, Movies, Music, TV, whatever. Even if you wanna go on about those vampire-boy/human girl books that are all the rage right now.

Let's Get Physical

2009-04-10T15:11:00.000-07:00

Howdy crafty people (and fans of crafty people or bad blogs). I have not posted in a while so thought now would be as good a time as any. There is a lot of good news going on right now. My mom moved in which is great. Aside from loving my mom she hates having nothing to do so she has been working on the garage and crawling under the house to work on the plumbing. Despite my two sisters I seriously think I am the most feminine thing to come out of that woman's vagina. And how is that possible? She likes motorcycles, she knows that car's don't require blinker fluid and she can light a pilot light. She's the man I always wish I was. I think her uterus got all the femininity out of the way with me. She even said so when I finally decided to brave the weather and show her my stitching. She liked most of it. Some of it was a little to out there for her.

Work is also busy. I am on a special project that actually requires me to work all day and in my free time I am interviewing for a new job at a different company. Of course if my boss or tattle-tail coworkers are reading this I hope you got the joke I just told. That's all it was. But remember, comedy is not a simple art. Saying I'm interviewing to leave the hell hole I currently lose a little piece of my life in every day is funny. A pink slip, not so much. So lets leave the "jokes" to me, ok. All of this is cutting into my Obi-Wan time. If any of this goes on much longer, then I may not be able to finish in time for the State Fair. Which doesnt mean I wont keep working on it. It will still be a huge accomplishment.

So now that we have introduced my mom to my stitching and all but jeopordized my career, how about some finished projects!?!

The first is a quote from Futurama. I did it as a quick project around Valentines Day because I have always loved the dynamic between two of the characters. One grew up an orphan. She mentions that all she has ever wanted were parents to hold her, stroke her hair and tell her they loved her. The other character is madly in love with the first, to no avail. This was his response.

The second piece I just finished. It's actually a quote from my fiancee. We were having your normal driving-home-from-the-store-with-the-baby-in-the-car conversation about this and that (this being pinching, that being slapping) and eventually got on the subject of leather, ropes, ceiling hooks, etc. I mentioned, while up for anything, I do consider my body a bit on the sensitive side, which prompted her flat-out and to the point question:

Yep, she's the best. Caring and always taking my concerns into account. In all seriousness as soon as she said this we were busting up laughing because we knew I was gonna have to stitch it. She was suprised when it not only jumped to #1 on my to-do list but actually pulled me away from my Obi-Wan project. One of the reasons she is the love of my life is because she can make me laugh and she can inspire me in ways no one else can, even if it's just for something to work on.

I didn't set out to use the same border on these but as soon as I decided to do hearts for the new one I thought that they both kind of relate to each other so why not. While the color scheme on the Futurama quote was definetely for Valantines day, the black, blue, red and purple of the second piece was to be reminiscent of slapping and bruising. Gentle is my middle name.

In the course of writing this I have decided to do one more so that I have a trilogy! I wont ruin the suprise now. I'll try to get it done and up soon. In the meantime any good stories about in-jokes or private moments that have turned into crafty goodness? Let's make that our topic for the comments section.

My mom saw the leather quote. While it took her three readings to understand exactly what was being said she finally just said "Whooooooaaaaa" and left Winna and I standing there feeling slightly embarassed...and at least me ready to "go".

Exhibitionism - it's not JUST for show!

Assertion Of Self or This Ones For The Boys

2009-03-31T10:15:00.000-07:00

I frequently post my completed projects to craftster and enjoy letting others know what I think of thier work (remember what they say: stealing your idea and making it for my room is the sincerest form of flattery). I ran across this post by a fellow male stitcher, appropriately named MrXStitch, who included this information with his latest project:

"I've been a lot more public with my stitching, doing it on trains and public places, and it's been an interesting experience for me and suprisingly emotional"

Of course my first thought was if you just change the word "stitching" the whole sentence takes on a new meaning and describes other things I like to do on the train and in public. Seriously, if the spelling/ and grammar errors didn't tip you off, this blog is by a 14-year-old.

Once I actually paid attention to what he was saying the implications of it got me thinking. I've been stitching publicly for a while now but not always so. When I first started I would go to my local craft store after closing for thier potluck/UFO night (UnFinished Objects). I would make something fabulous - because I am more awesome with a pan then I am with a needle - but once I got there I was still to embarrased to stitch in front of anyone. I brought my project, I showed my progress and I even discussed my future plans. But I would not stitch. Stitching was a great stress reliever with my last job and I loved doing on my lunch. But I would park the car in the corner of the lot and go out there to stitch.

I would do it at home. My sister and her kids would give me a little laugh but in that "family tease each other about everything" way. but the hardest part was doing it at my current job. I work in a box taking calls and we are painfully slow most of the year. I brought my stuff and kept it in a drawer for a month before I took it out. Then I just left it on my desk for a week to see if anyone said anything. Now, it's all I do at work. I make things for people. I get a lot of questions. But I also got asked to participate in a company craft fair. Well until it came out that most of my stuff was not work appropriate.

But there is still a stigma. One of my tattoos is on my neck. Yep, my neck. But its not because I am tough. You wouldn't know it unless I told you or you and I had being a HUGE nerd in common, but its from Star Wars. Still when asked how a man got into cross stitching I mentioned it was to relieve stress. I kid you not my coworker asked "Did you learn to do it in prison"?

Somehow the man cross stitching and the neck tattoo and wanting to relieve stress led to the conclusion that I had been in the klink. And that was emotional for me because how many people think the same thing and don't ask? I have been called many things by the uneducated and mostly unwashed masses. I've had trash thrown at me because they think a guy with an embroidery hoop can't start some shit.

But as equally important are the conversations my working in public has started, the compliments and oohs and awwws I have gotten at my work, and the friends that I have made because of it.

With that, I am a HUGE fan of MrXStitch. His work and his ideas and his creative use of unwanted projects has been a big inspiration to me. I cant imagine someone so talented and funny having to needlepoint in the dark alleys behind unreputable craft stores.

So this one's for you, Sir! Consider this your Cross Stitch Coming Out Party. Sorry we forgot the chips. Luckily there is a hooker in the corner. And by hooker I mean someone is doing crochet. But men like us were probably already thinking that!

Any good crafting in public stories? Share 'em in the comments section people!

240.8 Stitches Per Day: The Old Gold Maturity

2009-03-24T14:50:00.000-07:00

So no picture update last week. I just dont feel like I had gotten far enough to warrant one. It was a crazy week. I just could not find my motivation. Fortunately I did find most of it between the couch cushions so I have a lot of ground to make up.

I had no shame in mentioning in my last post that I planned on faking a lot of the sky. I am still working on the largest of the two suns and I had to stop and write this. The next big block I am getting ready to do is mostly divided into two colors. 676-Old Gold Light and 729-Old Gold Medium. My apologies if you dont use DMC floss as the numbers wont make sense but I am sure you get the idea. I myself only use DMC exclusively on larger projects so I can keep track of the multiple shades. When doing something in single shades such as straightforward red, blue, green - think my Tetris cross stitch. I just use what I find on sale at the store. I think its usually Jalynn or something like that.

But I digress. Needless to say when I got to the Old Golds I thought "Hell yeah I can just pick one and run with it". Yes there is an obvious shade difference in the two. I personally question if 676 is Old Gold light or more of a light gold. I guess what I am getting at is that I dont want to skimp and cut corners. I am gonna do the two seperate shades and when its all done I may be the only one who ever notices. There is a good chance I will have forgotten. But I want to do it right. I dont know if this is what they are talking about when they say "artistic integrity" or if this is some new personallity trait that (hopefully) will make its way into other situations in my life. I kind of hope so.

Anyway, that's enough out of me for now. I am going to be paning for gold the rest of the night.

*Update* I"M RICH BITCHES

*Updated Update* No matter how "old" the color, the jerk at the bank said I could get more for Fool's Gold then DMC's Old Gold. I yelled "Nu-Uh. Needlework warms the soul, let's see your precious fool's gold do THAT". It would have been much tougher sounding without the crying though.

The Golden Girls

240.8 Statiches Per Day: Blocking Out The Sun

2009-03-13T17:48:00.000-07:00

So most of the week was pretty slow at work. I decided to take a stab at working on one of the suns (for those who are unfimiliar with Tatooine or didn't see the first post, there are two suns in the portrait). I figured this would be the hardest thing so far since I can really fudge the sky if I am getting bored. Is anyone really gonna notice I didn't switch from peacock blue to peacock blue - light? Probably not. But I wanted to not skimp on the sun. I want it to radiate heat. I want you to have to cover your eyes and drink some ice water when it is done.

I did not know the suns on Tatooine appearently have some violet in them. Something I did not know about Star Wars...or at least Star Wars cross stitches.

For a day and a half worth of work (we were a little busier today) I think it came out nicely.

Still a lot to do just on the first sun but theres a lot of sky I can fake too!

Blast From The Past: There Is Nothing Like Your First

2009-03-11T11:44:00.000-07:00

Because following just my Obi-Wan portrait is comparable to watching grass grow I thought I should post some other things here from time to time. But since I am not working on any other projects at the moment other then Obi-Wan, I thought it would be cool to post some of my older stuff. I am sure that most of it can be found collecting dust at craftster.org but its my blog so I'll post waht I want to. Including spelling errors, apparently.

So here is my first self-designed project. I have a shirt with the Pac Man ghosts on it so I made a chart from that. Oh if I had known about sites like http://www.spritestitch.com/ back then. It took me almost a day to come up with something I thought looked right. I like to tell people (like my pastor's wife) that it's not dirty, it's more of a gladitorial challenge being issued by the ghosts. Ok, you got me. There is nothing there but some Pac-on-Poltergeist challenges of ~~lust~~ love.

I never got around to framing this. It went straight into my binder of completed/forgotten projects and still has the indentation from my embroidery hoop. Windy actually suggested framing some of my stuff and hanging it around the house. Maybe this one will see a second life. Hopefully it will be better then the Second Life I played. 46 hours a week playing my electronic self who still sat at a computer. But I didn't have a beard so maybe that was an angel showing me how my life could have been.

240.8 Stitches Per Day: Meetings, Trainings, Meetings About Trainings and Trainings On How To Have Meetings

2009-03-08T12:00:00.000-07:00

Bloody Hell.

It seemed like everything was working against my very simple - and dare I say reasonable - goal of 241 stitches a day. Sadly I have not even had time to count how many stitches I have but I know it's not a lot. There was one day I never even made it to my desk. It was all meetings as mentioned above!

Ok it is a lot. But it's not where I need it to be.

I decided to "frame" the top and start the left side. I thought it would give me a sense of accomplishment on every stitch I did if I could see how much closer it brought me instead of feeling like it was one more stitch towards an infinite and unattainable horizon. Someone call the cops. I know all that poetic sadness just stole your heart! Seriously, I am a fugitive of love, people.

Back to framing the piece. It is much smaller then I had anticipated. After crunching some numbers and some Cheetos, as well as looking at my receipts, it appears I have "chosen" a 12-count cloth, not 14 as previously thought. So the pic is gonna be a little bit smaller, which is find because the detail will be a little bit more in your face. Plus it will look more like an actual photo. At least when I take my glasses off.

To test that theory I hung the finished computer sim of the portrait on a wall and walked towards it without my glasses until I could tell it was not really a portrait. Needless to say I was right!!! I also have a bloody nose and a small hole in my wall. Yep, I was right.

Stitches to date: Don't ask, don't tell

WTF Was I Thinking?

2009-03-02T16:09:00.000-08:00

First day working on Obi-Wan at work. 253 stitches. I thought I was done half way through my day. I thought I hit 241, or at least 240.8 and I was gonna stop there because momma didn't raise no overachiever. Also no third grade graduates but I think that's her fault not ours. But what felt like 240 was really 214 (isn't it funny how 14 and 40 sound AND feel kind of alike?) so I found a quick block of 39 squares that were all the same color and in a relatively straight pattern so I could get them out quickly.

Also someone asked how many colors are in the finished piece. 72. Wait, 72? Really? I knew I should have done that silly looking Obi Wan from the Clone Wars cartoon. Probably would have been like 5 colors and even then I wouldn't really need to fill in the white if I used white cloth, right?

Honestly while I was not expecting 72 colors I did allow for up to 75. I feel if this is going to be my only piece with this kind of scope then I want to go balls-out. My apologies to any readers of the fairer sex. Not because I use language like "balls-out" but because you have no idea how great and natural it feels to be balls out and thus probably can't appreciate the analogy.

I have two other big pieces I want to do but both are based on simple art or cartoons and thus 8 colors tops and all primary ones at that. This is my crowing achievement, I hope. So even though 72 colors at what feels like breakneck speed is probably gonna drive me to crazytown, I hope it will all be worth it.

Total stitches to date: 671

240.8 Stitches Per Day

2009-02-27T17:51:00.000-08:00

That's my goal. Instead of continuing to do a bunch of little projects I have decided to do one big one. I also decided if I am going to do a big one I should do something big with it.

"Enter it into the State Fair" I thought

"Is there a prize for winning? Or at least a participants ribbon" My brain replied.

"Quit talking and eat something" my stomach rudely added.

Well a little more debating (mostly about cup o noodle flavors) and a check to see there is a $700 prize later and I have decided to enter! Also I found out that entries are due May 29, 2009 (or 29 May 2009) for our friends across the pond. The piece I want to do is a portrait of Ben Kenobi, the classy older version. Here is a dramatic representation of what my computer thinks it will look like:

Finished it should be 8.5"w x 12.29"h and total 20,468 stitches. I would like to finish with a few days to spare, giving me time to frame, photo, etc before submitting it to the judges and my calculator says I have to complete 240.8 stitches a day to get it done on time. I think doing .8 stitches is lazy so I am going to do 241 stitches per day. Go for the gold. That's me.

Here is what I have so far. Wish me luck.

Total stitches to date: 418

Boom. Roasted. A Michael Scott Joint

2009-02-27T16:37:00.000-08:00

So I decided to start working on a HUGE project since things are so slow at work and I don't have unlimited access to ~~porn~~ the internet here. However I forgot my thread and couldn't start it on Wednesday like I had planned. So instead is a little something from The Office that Michael says to Merideth. I have gotten used to the shows humor but this one left me silent for a couple seconds before laughing out loud "I am so gonna stitch that".

I so did.

Do You F*ck Your Mother?

2009-02-25T10:45:00.000-08:00

That question was asked by Adam Sessler of X-Play/G4TV fame on his "Sessler's Soapbox" podcast when he grew tired of the nasal whining of crybaby fanboys who suggested he gave a game a 5/5 review because the game company was lining his pockets. Question his intergrity and he will question yours.

I thought this should be posted to most message boards where the hate mongers and overly-uninformed make it too much of a chore for the rest of us to hold interesting conversation and maybe even debate like adults. After really thinking about it I figured I needed to make a sign since it really applies to most of the idiots we all meet in our day to day real lives and not just on the internet.

Mr. Sessler, I Salute You!!!

More Than "I Love You"

2009-02-25T08:31:00.000-08:00

Here are a couple pieces I did to celebrate Valentine's day.

First is a heartfelt admission of my love for my fiancee. I'm a huge Star Wars fan (tattoos, toys, books, named my daughter after a character, etc) and I wanted her to know where she ranked in my life. You would think that she would figure it out when my action figure collection disappeared and in its place was an engagement ring, but just in case there was any confusion... and yes, I did make the hearts out of lightsabers. That's how I roll.

Second is a quote from Futurama. I love this show and really wanted to do one of the many sweet things that Fry says to Leela. That didn't happen. I was going through some episodes when I came across "Leela's Homeworld". She is talking about being an orphan and wanting parents to hold her, stroke her hair and tell her they love her. I thought Fry's response should have been picked up by Hallmark. I'd send one to my mom every year. I mean my fiancee...I mean my junk!

A Couple of Finished Bookmarks

2009-02-22T11:41:00.000-08:00

The first I say on a stitcker or a shirt or something and thought it was too funny to pass up. Plus it was just the right length to make into a bookmark. I suspect I will be making a few more of these starting around October as possible XMAS gifts. So if we know each other in real life and not just the interwebs, no peeking!

Yes, both of these are finished.

Second is a classic saying found on everything from bumper stitckers to notepads. I made sure not to complete the last word and thought that given the nature of cross stitching it would be cute to leave a couple of individual stitches un-crossed.

I would normally try to finish this post with something clever, but I am tired so lets just leave it as one more of those unfinished anythings.