240.8 Stitches Per Day

That's my goal. Instead of continuing to do a bunch of little projects I have decided to do one big one. I also decided if I am going to do a big one I should do something big with it.

"Enter it into the State Fair" I thought

"Is there a prize for winning? Or at least a participants ribbon" My brain replied.

"Quit talking and eat something" my stomach rudely added.

Well a little more debating (mostly about cup o noodle flavors) and a check to see there is a $700 prize later and I have decided to enter! Also I found out that entries are due May 29, 2009 (or 29 May 2009) for our friends across the pond. The piece I want to do is a portrait of Ben Kenobi, the classy older version. Here is a dramatic representation of what my computer thinks it will look like:



Finished it should be 8.5"w x 12.29"h and total 20,468 stitches. I would like to finish with a few days to spare, giving me time to frame, photo, etc before submitting it to the judges and my calculator says I have to complete 240.8 stitches a day to get it done on time. I think doing .8 stitches is lazy so I am going to do 241 stitches per day. Go for the gold. That's me.

Here is what I have so far. Wish me luck.



Total stitches to date: 418

Boom. Roasted. A Michael Scott Joint

So I decided to start working on a HUGE project since things are so slow at work and I don't have unlimited access to porn the internet here. However I forgot my thread and couldn't start it on Wednesday like I had planned. So instead is a little something from The Office that Michael says to Merideth. I have gotten used to the shows humor but this one left me silent for a couple seconds before laughing out loud "I am so gonna stitch that".

I so did.

Do You F*ck Your Mother?

That question was asked by Adam Sessler of X-Play/G4TV fame on his "Sessler's Soapbox" podcast when he grew tired of the nasal whining of crybaby fanboys who suggested he gave a game a 5/5 review because the game company was lining his pockets. Question his intergrity and he will question yours.

I thought this should be posted to most message boards where the hate mongers and overly-uninformed make it too much of a chore for the rest of us to hold interesting conversation and maybe even debate like adults. After really thinking about it I figured I needed to make a sign since it really applies to most of the idiots we all meet in our day to day real lives and not just on the internet.

Mr. Sessler, I Salute You!!!

More Than "I Love You"

Here are a couple pieces I did to celebrate Valentine's day.

First is a heartfelt admission of my love for my fiancee. I'm a huge Star Wars fan (tattoos, toys, books, named my daughter after a character, etc) and I wanted her to know where she ranked in my life. You would think that she would figure it out when my action figure collection disappeared and in its place was an engagement ring, but just in case there was any confusion... and yes, I did make the hearts out of lightsabers. That's how I roll.



Second is a quote from Futurama. I love this show and really wanted to do one of the many sweet things that Fry says to Leela. That didn't happen. I was going through some episodes when I came across "Leela's Homeworld". She is talking about being an orphan and wanting parents to hold her, stroke her hair and tell her they love her. I thought Fry's response should have been picked up by Hallmark. I'd send one to my mom every year. I mean my fiancee...I mean my junk!

A Couple of Finished Bookmarks

The first I say on a stitcker or a shirt or something and thought it was too funny to pass up. Plus it was just the right length to make into a bookmark. I suspect I will be making a few more of these starting around October as possible XMAS gifts. So if we know each other in real life and not just the interwebs, no peeking!


Yes, both of these are finished.

Second is a classic saying found on everything from bumper stitckers to notepads. I made sure not to complete the last word and thought that given the nature of cross stitching it would be cute to leave a couple of individual stitches un-crossed.



I would normally try to finish this post with something clever, but I am tired so lets just leave it as one more of those unfinished anythings.