Tuesday, August 31, 2010

We got two Articles of Faith, 31 minutes of group sex We got a couple of Avengers, and a pair of Out Of Steps...

Yup, the recent contest (still running through tonight, btw) nagged me off the couch and into action! So now you can follow the site on facebook, which I will actually update because, well, I like reading what's in my head!

So "like" it, love it, stroke it gently at first then break out the ball gag. What do you mean there's no "so and so would ball-gag this" button. Maybe I don't want a facebook, then. Link is on the sidebar --->

I'm not saying I have picked a random number for another contest winner but...that's exactly what I am saying.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Fortunately, I Live In A Constant State Of Emergency

My friend Rooster and I go back...crap it's closer to ten years then I think we realize. We started out on the Sunday morning shift at RadioShack and since everyone was at church I would bring my electric guitar and he would play one of the display keyboards. I was gonna be a rock god and he was going to be a hip hop star and audio engineer in his own studio.

Today he is a member of the only hip hop group I like, Coldcokt, and he just graduated audio engineering school. Now he knows how to work all the stuff in the studio in his second bedroom. As for me I adjust claims by day and fight criminals with my cross stitch and witty online banter by night! Okay, okay...so it's early evening.

Anyway I have wanted to do this piece for a while now. It's been done elsewhere, and probably better. But I wanted to make him something to celebrate and grease the wheels on some studio time! The one thing I am taking from this piece is "matting" with scrapbook paper. I LOVE IT! Here's how it came out:

And here is Rooster doing what he does best. I am told it's called "Rocking The Mic".

I guess so.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

A Contest? But Only God Can Judge Me!

Things don't exist simply because you believe in them, thus sayeth the almighty creature in the sky - Dr. Banjo

So I have decided to do a contest. Why not. I really have wanted to turn this into a "real blog" but with my style or lack thereof. I even have a domain somewhere else where I am practicing being more personable. But let's try here.

I am making my tattoo artist a piece to say thank you. Actually it's going to say "Fuck Your Shit". If you want one too, send in your craft tattoos and I will pick a winner. Well, I won't but I will find some random ass way to pick a winner. Send entries to whateverjamesinstitches@gmail.com

Here are the rules:
1. I can't enter.
2. You should. Since I doubt many people actually read this your chances are pretty good. And on that note:
3. Naked pics won't help you win, but they also couldn't hurt. Remember I have a wife in real life so it's all for fun but let's not get nasty. Respect yourself and her...or at least her.
4. If I get a naked pick of Jamie because of this - he automatically wins!
5. A winner will be picked at random from all entries.
6. Craft tattoos only but any craft is ok. If you do pottery maybe show off your "ghost
tattoo - what you don't have one too? If you are a tattoo artist don't send in pictures of your work unless you have done a craft piece...or maybe you have a tattoo of a tattoo gun or something.
7. If possible, include info on your artist. We like seeing our names by our work so let's give them the same respect!

That's it for the rules, I think. Send entries to whateverjamesinstitches@gmail.com before (looks for random date on the calendar) August 31, 2010.

Cool And Unusual Punishment

I finally got my cross stitch tattoo! It came at great personal sacrifice but here it is:

Big thanks to Nick M. over at Fat Cat Tattoo on and in Fair Oaks, CA!

Pic is less then an hour after taking the plastic off (I love how we get to "unwrap" new tattoos - it's like a fucked-up Christmas). That was Thursday night and as of Saturday morning it is setting so damn pretty. Hey, it has purple in it so it can be as pretty as I want it to be! By the by, the purple is a mix of the single light and single dark purples he had.

I know what your thinking: "Where's the personal sacrifice? It's not a heroic story unless our star suffers some tragedy!" Well here you go, you hateful sons of bitches: I managed to lose 7 projects spanning my ENTIRE cross stitch career and representing over 100 hours of work.

I almost always have my craft bag with me. Its like my god-damn purse, really. I placed it on top of the car when I was getting our youngest out of her seat. Can you see it coming from a mile away? Yes, Windy went to the store later that night and since it is not her job to listen for stray craft bags falling of the roof, she did not hear it do so. It's been really hard to get her to realize it was not her fault and I am not mad at her. I don't think she actually reads my blog but if so: I love you!

The bag was, itself, awesome. It was a DMC branded bag from the craft store and I loved it so much I have been meaning to "review" it here at some point. But inside were projects I carry to show off my work (rest assured you can see pictures on my iPod instead from now on). I will post about them separately.

So who has crafty tattoos? Send a pic to whateverjamesinstitches@gmail.com and I'll post it here with some words about how awesome it is (spoiler). Here is me with mine (my tattoo gutter-brain):